Friday, September 27, 2013

Part of my penance ...

As the ongoing fight to be a better man rages in me, I am beginning to understand how my love and commitment for the re-establishment of the traditions within the church must be tempered not with my own desires but the needs of the Church.  Perhaps the best way to put it is that I want to get my desires fulfilled in a way that is convenient to me.  I want tradition on my own terms much like the modernists want traditions on theirs.  Instead of wishing that the traditions first and foremost are restored to give due and rightful glory to God, I want them restored for my own selfish desires, specifically so I can say that I was a part of the restoration.
You see my problem now?  All my faults cant be traced to pride, and it has taken me until now to really start seeing this.  I cannot even begin to thank God for giving me this awareness, but here comes the hard part, the part where Christ looks at me and says “If you love me you will keep my commands”.  There is part of me that that feels like the rich young man who wants to run up to Jesus and present him with my so called holiness, yet upon presentation and my pride giving way Christ tells me to give up all that I have and follow him.  Am I truly willing to give it all up?  I must ask myself.  If I again and again tell myself that my sins are not worse then others I only kid myself.  For most of those that engage in modernism know no better, but I do.  Yet too often I am unwilling to change.  I need to be honest with myself, and I need prayers because my battles will not be won alone.

I also want to make you the reader aware of some sermons that really have got me thinking on this lately.  I know this will help you as it has helped me (especially for those that engage in traditionalism type topics):

Part I

Part III (out of order I know)
Part II

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