“Once your baby starts to walk you’ll realize why cribs are
designed like prisons from the early 1900s. This is clearly because toddlers
are a danger to themselves. The main responsibility for a parent of a toddler
is to stop them from accidentally hurting or killing themselves. They are
superclumsy. If you don’t believe me, watch a two-year-old girl attempt to walk
up stairs in a long dress. It looks like a Carol Burnett sketch. Also, toddler
judgment is horrible. They don’t have any. Put a twelve-month-old on a bed, and
they will immediately try and crawl off headfirst like a lemming on a mindless
migration mission. But the toddler mission is never mindless. They have two
goals: find poison and find something to destroy.” - Jim Gaffigan
+JMJ+
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